These Dreams...

As I am going through my dream journal and recording all my dreams, I am realizing more about myself. I am finding that most of my dreams are very creepy. I know that I have mentioned this before in a previous post so I wont elaborate much on that side of my dreams, but instead I will go on to tell you about the not-so-creepy dreams.
In my dream journal, most of my not-so-creepy dreams are centered around performing in plays on stage. I guess that makes sense, because I love drama and I miss drama at my old school.
But really, my mind is really a sinister place sometimes...

One Word...

"Remember who you are." - Mufasa, the Lion King

Remember: Have in or be able to bring to one's mind an awareness of (someone or something that one has seen, known, or experienced in the past).

What does it mean to remember? 
There's the kind of remember when you are looking for your keys.
There's also the kind of remember when you are doing something and a certain memory flashes through your mind, where you spend the next few minutes remembering everything about that moment in your life.
There's the kind of remember where you have to be at a certain place at a certain time and if you are late or absent it will be unfortunate.
But what does the word remember mean to you?

Robin Lynea Close

Character Bio Sheet

• Name:  Robin Lynea Close
  
• Age:  17
  
• Physical Description:  Her hair is shoulder length and black, sometimes tends to be wavy. She keeps it short because it is easier to deal with. She does not care much for her personal appearance. She has thick, dark eyelashes with bright blue eyes, green at the center. She has a straight nose, with lips that are a soft pick color and full. Her skin is pale, but it manages to have a creaminess to it. She has a slight smattering of freckles across the bridge of her nose. She is slender, almost bordering on thin, but she is strong, fit. She needs to be at the top of her game, so she makes sure that she is fully functioning and healthy. Her hands, though small, are well trained to fight. She is about 5'2, and weighs roughly around 100lbs. 
• Location: In the beginning she is living in an abandoned house with her two siblings and her drunkard father. after an unexplained accident, she is abducted and taken to a testing facility. She is then mind wiped and trained to be a weapon. she doesn't remember anything other than her time at the facility, so she has no sadness for the siblings she lost. 
• Goals/Desires:  She immerses herself into her training and resolves to always come out on top, no matter what the cost. However her soft heart always seems to get in the way and it haunts her. She has dreams of her life before, but she does not recognize what they should mean to her. She wants to come out on top, but she also wants to find out who she is. 
• Weakness/Insecurities: Robin has a soft heart, which hinders her progress to beat all the other youth in the facility and be the best of the best. what she thinks is a weakness is actually a strength. she just doesn't see it. She doesn't care for her appearance, (but she is very beautiful), so she doesn't have any insecurities about that.
• Pet Peeves: She is incredibly annoyed by a guy her age (a fellow youth at the academy) that is constantly pestering her (talking to her, trying to be her friend, etc.), but what she doesn't realize is that he is in love with her...
  
• Strengths: Her soft heart and her resolve. once she sets her mind to something, she is unshakeable. Also, her beauty is a strength is some ways. 
• Fondest/Saddest Memories: The death of her two siblings, but she has no recollection of the event. It haunts her in her dreams, but she has no idea what it means and who the two kids are. She also has nightmares about her father beating her up, but she never sees his face. She wakes up screaming in the night.
• Religion/World Philosophy: Since her mind-wipe, she believes whole-heartedly in the facility that killed her siblings and made her into a weapon. She doesn't remember anything, and all that she knows since her mind-wipe are the lies that the facility is feeding her. But as she gets higher up on the totem pole, so to speak, she starts to realize that the facility is lying to her and she starts to lose herself.
  
• Habits: Robin's habits are that she always checks her room from floor to ceiling every night before she goes to sleep, and before she leaves her room in the morning. She makes sure that she is clean at all times, but she does not indulge in her appearance. She owns makeup, but only uses it when she needs it for an assignment and needs to look nice. Only used as needed.
  
• Family Life: Her mother died in childbirth with her brother, Damien, when Linnea was nine. She has a twelve year old sister named Janessa. Their father is a drunkard, and comes home and often beats Linnea if she doesn't get out of the house in time. She hides Janessa and Damien in the small hidden cupboard under the stairs of the wrecked home that they live in.
  
• Favorite music/movie/TV show: She has no favorite movie or TV show, she doesn't watch TV. She enjoys music, but she has no favorites. She knows that she does not like country however.

About my "Watch Your Back" post...

So I have these crazy awesome vivid dreams right? (you would know that if you read up on my dreams post) This happens to be one of them. It seems to be a kind of play-off of the hunger games, but it's different than that. In this instance the main character is in a kind of competition to be the top survivor or something like that... and she and the rest of the youth in the program are all competing in brutal fights to the death to win. The winner will be made some sort of elite spy or fighter or something like that.
You get where I'm going with this?

Watch Your Back (my short story that might end up being a long story)

Run. Don't look back, just run. Breathe. Breathe.
I crash through the undergrowth, my jacket catching on brambles that cut into my skin. Blood from a cut on my forehead drips into my eyes, blurring my vision. I wipe it away with shaking fingers. I can still hear my pursuer following close behind me.
Don't look back. Don't look back.
I'm running deeper and deeper into the forest. I have no idea where I am, a foolish move on my part. I should have paid attention, I could get docked points if they find out I didn't know exactly where I was at all times. All I can do is run, and hope I find a familiar landmark soon. I absolutely cannot slow down, else my pursuer will catch me. Then he will kill me.
Unless I can kill him first. 
Up ahead I see something glimmering. It's the lake! I push through the trees, trying to reach it faster. It takes all my willpower not to double over in pain from the cramp in my side. I hear a sudden whizzing noise coming my way. I break through the last row of trees just as the knife flies past my ear, slicing off some of my hair as it passes.
My momentum carries my down the slope toward the water and I lose control, my body pitching forward. If he catches up to me when I'm on the ground, I'm a goner. Instead of falling on my face, I tuck into a ball and roll back to my feet. Out of the corner of my eye I see the knife that he had thrown at me. I reach over to grab it just as he crashes through the trees.
For a second neither of us moves. We stare each other down, breathing hard. I can see him calculating his next move. I have to act before he does if I'm going to come out on top.
Don't think about it. Just don't think about it. 
He smiled an awful smile at me. He was strong, that much was obvious. I would have to take him by surprise.
"You've got nowhere to run, Linnea. If you give up now, I'll kill you faster. It will be almost painless," he said as he sauntered forward, pulling out another knife from his belt.
I flash him a mocking smile. "Sorry, but I'm going to have to dissappoint you."
Wielding the knife I ran at him, aiming to kill.

Dreams

My dreams are incredibly vivid. I often have nightmares, but the strange thing about that is when I am having the dream it doesn't seem to be scary.
How does that work, I wonder?
It seems to only be a nightmare when I think back on my dream. When I tell somebody else about it, I realize how strange and creepy my dream actually was. It seems that I never have a dream that isn't creepy in some way. So if this is the case, think about when I really do have a nightmare.
It's a scary thought, isn't it?
I often wake up screaming when I have a real nightmare. Remember how I said that my dreams are incredibly vivid? Well, when I have a nightmare and I wake up in the middle of it, I often have tears on my face and my throat is sore from screaming.
Oh wow, this post is depressing.
I guess I'll just leave it at that

~Apple

When I was a wee lass, I had a HUGE imagination.
Correction; I still do.
Nonetheless, this is a story, and I will now go back to my telling of it.
As a young girl, my favorite game in the whole world was the "pretend" game. I would pretend all day, every day. I would go to places that only I knew where they were, I would talk with my imaginary friends, I would do anything and everything that I set my mind to doing.
Sometimes, however, my vast imagination would make people wary of me. They would avoid me when they could, and whispered in mocking tones behind my back. I was a freak to them. An oddity.
I never really cared for what they said, however. I just went back to my imaginary playground and ignored them. It never was strange to me to be myself. They weren't worth my time.Every day I would defy their scornful looks and harsh words by doing something out of the ordinary, I would rub my strangeness in their sneering faces.
So you may be thinking to yourself that I was the type of person to never get embarrassed.
Correction; I DO get embarrassed. I am still human, after all.
I am strange in the way that I do things that would make you think I am the fearless type. The truth of the matter is I am DEATHLY afraid of being embarrassed. This may be confusing to you, and I understand.
Here, let me explain....
I do the crazy things I do to prove to myself that I don't need to be embarrassed.
I do the crazy things I do so that I convince myself to not be afraid.
I do the crazy things I do so that I might tell myself that I am who I am...
Nobody except for me can change that.